Makes you think

It's come to my attention that apparently i have become local gossip for a small town/village of  idiots. I was recently informed that apparently i worship the devil... honestly apparently walmart is the devil (in some eyes its true) an we ware a uniform of navy and khaki. Really people i haven't the commitment nor the time to be a devil worshipper. But it lit a fire up my ass cause i found it funny if you know me then you know i am a clever mother fucker. I am a wit and i use my mind more then anything when it comes time for battle. In seriousness i find joy it picking scanning and watching my victims squirm as i tear them up with a verbal attack on my gained knowledge of them. And in finding this news out i was like omg i could literally use this as ammunition to make these people really feel like idiots. Mind you i was told this and the person who said it i don't even know nor know what they look like so makes me wonder how they know me.. is there life that dull that they have to pick or talk about someone they don't even know and if they have met me then obviously they meant shit to me cause i don't remember them at all. But the more i thought on this the more i wonder what else do people say. I mean everyday i get asked how are your mom and dad? I never see them out anymore? blah blah blah. It really really iterates me to the point i am goin to start sayin i don't know i rarely see them (which is true we work all of us and rarely see each other they work days i work evenings i don't see them) if you wanna know pick up a phone. Or makes me wanna say there fine without you and it brings up old wounds. But if people are calling me a devil worshipper then wonder what they are saying about my parents or my brother or all of us. Considering what my family has been threw i would think a small town would not open there mouth if you want answers ask me don't make your own assumptions on someone you never knew or don't know. It makes me wonder if they blame me for it. If they say if they had gone to church it wouldn't of happened. Why don't they come to church. You think they would after what happen. My family is not a member of this community anymore one we work life caught up with us and we had to deal with some serious shit and not one of these people where around to help us as we drifted away. Not one of these close friends of old who sit there as ask how your mom and dad doin. Tell your mom and dad i said yeah. I wanna say you fuckin tell them. I hate being a messenger one i forget easily i have more shit on my mind then to say hello for you. And this community i have grown up in and i come to think i don't know these people at all my own personal choice and our lack of involvement i guess but frankly i don't see any loss on my end except apparently i am not involved in the local gossip but am the local gossip. It makes me wonder how many people are truly your friends i mean how many people have heard this and either said nothing or stood up and said your a fuckin idiot to think that in my defense. I would like to say a few but i doubt anyone did but they probably spread the word. I have never talked bad about anyone i have no reason to i don't know anyone my dad can say someones name who lives a mile away and i am like who? i recognize faces more but frankly i just don't care about the people around me that are not apart of my life so i mind my own business and just do what i have to do to make it threw each day. Mind you i brought this on myself lol when my family forced me to go to church yes i say forced ( i never saw a point even at a young age to go to church) i hated waking up early on a Sunday to go to a place that i cared nothing about to listen to a man and then go up down kneel sit hold hands eat drink this and then listen and leave really. At a young age i remember tellin my mother that "how you know the bible wasn't written by some drunk dudes in a bar?" or "what if Jesus wasn't just some nut job that people wrote about?" as i got older i realize the church is corrupt in alot of ways threw history and stories can change over time to fit the needs of others to gain power. Which is why i cant be a devil worshipper i could have to believe in God i believe in something after this life what it is i don't know but i have faith there is something after this and that i will see the ones i love and have lost again i find more faith in my gf's pagan religion then i do in a religion that i feel has been craved into the fabric of my mind like a cult. I like the looks of dark art and images of a devil i love villains and the shadows cause that is life its not all rainbows and sunshine i have gone threw some shit i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy to go threw and everyday i still go threw them each day is a battle for me a battle i choose i can live in denial of everything or face the truth of it and live each day knowing i made it I'm not sayin i don't think anything about religion i find the art of stained glass windows amazing and the church i went to was a beautiful church in my lack of being there i was usually looking around at the amazing glass the alter everything it was beautiful really but its not for me. So it makes me wonder who will read this and get an inside to me or will use it as ammo to fuel a fire they can't handle. Cause honestly you have no idea what i am capable of and you do not want to be on my shit list this is not a threat its a promise. You want to know the real me then read and ask me don't judge me based on your fuckin ignorance an fear...